Saturday, July 21, 2007

the fight of temptation

i can't help myself nowadays
im falling in this trap
im too soft, too weak
ive lost all ability to love in any way
im loosing myself
and im loosing my friends
im even loosing God at times like now
but i really cry watching myself go through this
pain, hatred, brokeness
im not worthy of being loved nor cared for
im not worthy of having friends
when i talk behind their backs
and discriminate them
i am loosing control
3 cups!
im dying in this battle of being wanted
i have given up on alot of things
i have given up trying to love
i have given up on my dignity and self-respect
i just cant help it. i cant.
and smtimes, it just takes a hug to pull you back to place
but no, this feeling shall go away
be cold, hate and fight the love
temptation
lurking at you when you get closer to God
im fighting this endless battle
it comes and goes
just like she said
will i ever be able to love again?
I'm tired of keeping my feelings in.
bottle it up, literally.
throb a bit
but the feeling, makes you wanna cry.
i'm such a failure
i'm such a disgust
i'm tired of living
and tired of love

Posted by Alexander Thaddeus Kow at 7/21/2007 02:50:00 am